I go to the bathroom and lean on the sinks. I don't know if the host saw my condition, but I think so because he didn't stop me. I get up when the last chords of the song are still playing. That's it, I cannot stand it anymore, I could not hold back the tears and I'm feeling nauseous. I would not be here, With the love of my life all my pain disappear I find myself I'll just remember when you hurt me and I made it So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeahĪnd how it feels to get a brand new startĪnd every time I find myself alone in pieces The most important thing you ever gave me was the one that hurt the most You showed me lonely, and you made me put you in the past Although Forth is killing me, I cannot stop listening to him. My masochistic ears return again and again to listen to Forth's voice, simply because I miss him. I close my eyes again and imagine myself in my room, alone, with nothing around me, but I don't achieve it for long. I try not to listen to him, I try not to pay attention to him, to focus on anything else inside my mind, but my senses keep betraying me, luring me again and again to the song that Forth is singing to me. I have to endure, at least until the song ends I fight to keep tears from falling down my face. What is this? Each word is stuck in me and shatter my heart breaking it even more. It sounds really good, it has a nice rhythm and the melody is catchy. "Of course!" says Forth and getting up he goes to the stage. "Well Forth, are you ready to present your song?" "Did you hear girls? This handsome guy is available!" I give a tired smile to the camera and attention finally turns away from me. I can't be with anyone, I should not be with anyone. "No, I have not found the right person yet" I don't even dare look at Forth. "And you Beam?" suddenly all eyes are fixed on me. Kelly turns to look at me and I close my eyes tightly, wishing the camera did not focus on me at this moment. "Yes, I've been dating someone for a few months now" answers Forth. "Forth, do you have someone in your life right now?" I don't want to hear this, I can't hear this. I pay attention and the host is asking Forth about his love situation. Anyway, I try to calm down and continue with the interview. When I learned that Forth was going to be present I took a pill just in case, but I don't think it's going to be enough for this moment. My hands continue to grab the arms of the chair and I know I am beginning to sweat. I don't know how much longer I can take it. This is an interactive chapter, so play the song when I tell you and grab some tissues.
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